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So, it’s been a while. But I’ve finally gotten everything done that I needed to, and today should be the first day I’m able to log on and start receiving calls. In anticipation, I’ve been doing some reading on an erotic literature site.

I’ve already explained the company is no taboo. As a reminder, this means no incest, bestiality, paedophilia, necrophilia, racism, drug use, or torture. Basically, if it’s illegal, it’s not allowed. And I’m comfortable with that. I’m not passing judgement, but… I really can’t get into any of that.

However, I CAN expect to discuss things like sex with multiple partners, sex with other females, sex with total strangers, urination, defecation, domination, degradation, humiliation and the like. I’m not really into some of that stuff either. (I cannot imagine enjoying someone peeing on me, or letting someone come into contact with my poo!) But that doesn’t matter! You’re supposed to approach this job as an ACTRESS. I do have some acting skills, but in a life experience kind of way, not from being on stage frequently.

So, I’ve been reading stories, trying to get in a few good ones on each kinky topic I expect to come up. So far I’ve done anal play stories, slave to a black master stories, stories where the female is submissive, stories where the female dominates, urination, panty fetish, and I’m on foot fetish right now.

Some of this stuff just makes me laugh! One man with a foot fetish discussed lavishing his tongue and attention on his dancer girlfriend’s hot, sweaty, tired feet. It just makes me wrinkle my nose and laugh. I read one woman’s account of the first time a man peed on her. She rubbed it into her skin and really enjoyed it. One man had a woman’s very dirty (read: crusty) underwear on his face, taking in the smell and taste of her sweat, urine, and daily excretions. (I have no right to say anything on that topic, I recently made $250 selling my dirty panties.)

I don’t think these people are disgusting, or freakish. I just don’t share the fetish. I think that it’s so interesting the way a person’s brain works, and their sexuality. There truly are so many different kinds of people, with different buttons. Some seem strange or shocking, some are considered morally reprehensive. In our society, anything but ‘vanilla’ is unacceptable. The truth is, it’s not really the norm. It’s just that no one talks about it. I can’t say whether or not the number of people with fetishes and ‘different’ turn-ons have increased because of the diversity and prevalence of porn in this day and age, or if there was a good percentage of people like that that you just didn’t know about because it was 1950 and hardly anyone expressed or explored their sexuality.

Either way, it’s very interesting. I’m a non-judgemental person. I may not agree with it, but I can’t pass judgement on you. No one has that right. I’m not saying I support the people who molest the innocence of a child or defile the remains of someone’s loved one. You have to understand– that’s someone’s baby. That was someone’s mother, or sister, or (adversely) father or brother. That was someone’s friend. And while I do not agree with rape, I see nothing wrong with rape role plays.

I’m going to open up here. What can it hurt? You don’t know me. I’ve done some role playing. Most was pretty harmless stuff. Pretending my boyfriend was actually a perfect stranger. Walking around in the nude, having sex on the front porch or in front of the window in hopes that my neighbor would see. But we also did a (gentle) rape role play. (It was nothing brutal, but a little agression and throwing me around turns me on.)

We discussed fantasies I’d had as a young virgin coming into my sexuality. After that, we acted out scenes where the 7th grade version of myself pleasured and was pleasured by my science teacher to make up for my recent failing grades. I’d even told him about how I was so repressed and would get so desperately horny that I’d wish my rottweiler would mount me, despite me being one of the biggest animal lovers in the world.

Role playing is healthy. It’s a good way to explore yourself, and act out situations you would never go through with. I would never want to be raped. I can’t imagine how damaging it would be to have sex with my science teacher as a 7th grader. I would never, ever engage in a sexual act with a dog or any other animal.

I got a little off topic. So although I’m not interested in certain scenarios or actions, I’m looking forward to exploring areas of sexuality I probably never would have, had I not started in this business. Of course I’m nervous! But I’m an optimist. I plan to approach this with  positive attitude, and have a complete understanding of what I’m doing from the first caller. I’m ACTING. But while I do so, I get to explore human sexuality, which is interesting to me.

I’ve always enjoyed exploring things I myself don’t, can’t, or won’t experience. I love reading all sorts of books because they introduce me to entire lives and experiences that I will never personally know. I enjoy movies, tv shows, plays, and the like for the same reason. I like to watch people in the mall. I like to learn things about how, why, and what makes us tick. We’re just fascinating, aren’t we? 

As I’m writing this, the sun is rising. Outside my window, the sky is a fragile silvery blue, and my own little world is gilded with the warm glow of the sun that rises in the east each morning. Here’s to new beginnings!

Horny Hugs and Sloppy Kisses from–

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