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HOLY FREAKING CRAP!

I just was logged in for over an hour, and it went so fast! I had several calls, all of which were quite short. They say that three beeps means they ran out of time, and one long one means they pretty much hated you. I’m starting to think three beeps actually means they hated you! According to the beeps, every one of them ran out of time pretty quickly.

My gosh! This was my first time logging in and such. They approved my recordings, but my profile hasn’t been approved yet so I wasn’t sure I’d get calls. I did though! And let me tell you, I’m jumping on a mixture of excitement and embarrassment. I thought I’d be nervous, but I wasn’t! However, there were several times where I just froze and sat here making awkward grimacing faces because I thought I sounded stupid or couldn’t think of anything to say.

Kill me now! I expected it to be like this, I was prepared. I tried to think of all the different things I could say or ask so I’d be prepared. Yowza! Stop and go. Like the way new drivers drive in movies. VROOM! SCREECH! VROOM!  SCREECH! I know you just have to stick with it and keep trying, and that the only way to get better is to practice, so I’m going to sign back in after a little break. It’s hot in my bedroom, I’m thirsty, and my dog needs to go out.

One of my other difficulties is hearing. First of all, even in person, I have trouble understanding people. My hearing is perfect, but sometimes, between my brain and my ear something gets lost, so I stand there and go “Huh?” like an idiot. You can’t do that on the phone! You have to be cute and say “I’m sorry?” or “Could you repeat that?”. Well, maybe you don’t have to, but I do. I sound like a 12 year old, honest to God, so I’m in a cute 18’s category. Anyway. First of all, they speak sort of softly because your voice naturally lowers when you’re turned on. Second, their voices are muffled somewhat because they’re breathing funny or beating it. Third, they’re British. So far the accents haven’t been awful at all, but it’s one more factor.

It’s hilarious in a way though. I tell them that I’m just wearing my underwear, which is currently a lacy pink bra and panty set, because it’s so early here. I told one guy I had woken up after a dirty dream and couldn’t sleep. In actuality… I’m wearing a black tee shirt that’s covered in pet hair, with my 38DD tits flopping loose underneath. (This is known, like when guys go without underwear, as “Free ballin’ “) I tell them I’m a 36D, because these things are just too big, ESPECIALLY for a supposed 18 year old with the voice of a 6th grader. Below that, I’m wearing Metallica ‘Ride the Lightning’ men’s pajama pants, which are blue with electric chairs, lightning, and the Metallica logo all over. They’re baggy and oversized and come complete with a button fly. Fo realz. Underneath that I’m wearing some very unsexy bikini cut cobalt blue cotton undies because as I like to say “The red tide is coming.”

Off topic. I think the whole “Red Tide” thing is a hilarious way of saying I’m bleeding out of my vag. The red tide is where all of this plankton breeds and goes crazy, and the population skyrockets, which kills all the fish and makes the water where the plankton is look red. You’re not supposed to eat shellfish (i.e. CLAMS) at this time. TELL ME that’s not funny. Sorry, I have a crude and twisted sense of humor.

Also, my hair (which is not honey blonde, but naturally reddish blonde, currently dyed black) is tangled and pulled back into a very messy bun. My toenails are painted red, not pink. Pink is sweet, girly, and sort of virginal. It’s innocent. Clearly, I’m not, since I’m doing this job. Red is my favorite color, and it’s a sinful one. Red is a color of vitality, strength, and power. It’s very passionate– it represents love, sex, and anger. Bad good girl 18 year olds that sound like they’re only allowed to watch PG movies are not ‘red’ girls.

Anyway. I realize this particular blog entry is completely random and insane, but it happens. I just want to say that I’m really glad that I work for a no taboo company! So far the worst I’ve gotten was someone wanting to put it in my ass. I’ve done anal, and if I’m horny enough I like it. But I just think it’s rude to want to stick it in my butt without paying any attention to my clit, my pussy, or my orgasm first! 😀

So there you go. A not very detailed account of my first hour, and way too much info on what the real Me is doing, thinking, and feeling. I wonder if it would freak them out to know that behind the sweet, naughty girl they talk to is a crass bad girl with a brain more inflated than their engorged cocks that laughs and rolls her eyes at the whole exchange? (When she’s not cringing and floundering for something to say.) Don’t get me wrong! I don’t think I’m better than them. I don’t look down on them. But I feel like a fool after saying certain things. And honestly, saying ‘wow’ after they tell me they’re about six inches is dumb. Maybe, for the most part, everything IS bigger in Texas.   

I’ll write more soon, you can count on that. I haven’t posted very frequently, but that’s because there was nothing to post! Now I’m in business, so you can exepct to hear a lot from me!

Love and Jitters from–
  1-900-Lovergirl!