Celebrities, Subs, Love and Phone Sex

It’s been a little while. I’ve been logging in and all of that. I’ve been getting voice messages since I started from a super sub named Anthony. He mumbles a lot and calls me princess. And he has a really creepy giggle. Last night, I exchanged many voice messages with a really cool guy named Edward. He was so nice, and easy to talk to. He told me that he just got out of a relationship and was hoping to regain his confidence after being cheated on. We talked about our lives, nothing explicit at all. I made sure to compliment him to help him regain his confidence. He had a slight lisp, but he was a really great guy. I really enjoyed our exchanges because of this, and we’ve made plans to talk to each other again tonight.

Last week I had a guy call me claiming to be Steve Coogan. You know, British actor, played Octavius in Night at the Museum? Yeah. It may well have been. His voice sounded similar, and he wasn’t the typical wanker. (Wanker=guy who calls and talks for 2-3 minutes. I get a lot of them.) I enjoyed talking to him, whether he is who he says he is or not. We had conversation, and then whe it turned sexual it wasn’t as rude as it is with other people. Our talk went back and forth from sexual to normal, and it was interesting. He really had a thing for anal though, but I guess there’s weirder fetishes. We spent a whopping 1 hour and 30 something minutes on the phone, so I made good money. Honestly, I just don’t care if he’s Steve Coogan or Steve the Taxi Driver. It was a good conversation and I made good money. A huge relief from the wankers that command me to moan before they even learn my name!

I do much better with the accents, but I still have trouble if they’re MUMBLING. When I get a mumbler I just sort of guess or say yes or moan or something. Then I start surfing the internet. I hate the callers that just want me to moan! The very first moan is actually a huge converted sigh. Then I make really stupid, bored faces as I make all those stupid sounds and divert my attention to the internet. The worst thing about them is that if I do it for several minutes I get lightheaded. I swear, someday I’ll pass out. Oh! And I have HUGE trouble with Scottish/ Irish accents. They’re a lot harder than British accents.

This job is just so interesting. Most people are calling for a quick wank, or to explore their fantasies. But some people will talk to you because they’re lonely. Maybe because they’ve had rough luck with girls and need a boost of confidence. Some guys will fall in love with you, and totally lose it when you can’t be what you want them to. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to say “I love you” in the middle of a perfectly boring strictly sex call. It sort of makes me sad that these guys have to call me, a sex operator, and pay to talk to a beautiful girl, or hear someone express some sort of affection for them.

But in some cases, like Edward, I genuinely enjoy th conversation and that I’m helping someone. The entire time we talked, I had a warm, genuine smile on my face. I developed a sincere affection for Edward. I’m not in love with him, but I genuinely hope that he will be happy and that life will go well for him. I realize I’m a sex operator and not a soup kitchen worker, but I really enjoy when I can help someone to feel better about themselves or be less lonely. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. And that’s something I never expected.

Apparently, My Shit is Fucking Gorgeous.

I’ve spent a couple hours logged in today, it’s been okay. Nothing overly exciting.

I did get one caller, we’ll call him Paul, that was into my panties. He wished that, instead of me being there, my panties were there with him. I asked him what he would do with them, and he said he would smell them, and lick them, and suck on them… okay then. He was telling me how much he liked the piss stains in the front, and the bum stains in the back. That one made me laugh, but I’m quickly learning how to make a laugh sound like a moan or something. I don’t know what his last girlfriend was like, but I use a toilet, and toilet paper!

Anyway, we talked some more and I asked him what he would do if I were there. There was liberal tonguing of both of my holes, and then he said he wanted to watch me pee. So, I told him I’d spread my legs wide so he could see me pee, and told him I was peeing. Keep in mind that between all of things he says, there’s a lot of heavy groaning. Then he tells me he wants to reach his hand down and feel it. I ask him how it feels, and he says it feels “fucking beautiful” and then he proceeds to lick his hands clean. (Eek!) Then he said he wanted to see me take a shit. So again, I said I spread my legs wide so he could see. He said he could see my butthole moving, and then wanted me to take over. I said “I’m pooping! Can you see it?” He’s getting really excited, and said he could. I asked him how it looked, and he answered “fucking gorgeous” and he came. There were thank you’s and all of that, then he hung up.  

The whole time, I kind of wanted to laugh. I mean, it kind of grosses me out (the part where he wanted to taste it. Ew!) but I was curious why he was into this. Throughout the conversation, I would ask him to describe things to me “How does it look, how does it taste, how does it feel?” because I was curious, but all of his answers were along the lines of fucking beautiful and fucking gorgeous.

It really is interesting to me how things like this can turn people on. I mean, isn’t it crazy how some things will really get a person going? Humans are just so darned interesting. Some people may not approve, but it’s good for me to be able to talk to someone about this. During calls I’ll text my friend about what’s going on and we’ll have a laugh. When she comes out, I’ll reenact a call for her, and we both laugh ourselves silly over it. It’s just fascinating the way people operate! Funny, too.

Vanilla, Stupid Noises, and Sanitary Spunk Disposal

I was logged in for 3 hours yesterday, and it was SLOW. I only had a little over 80 minutes of talk time. Got some weird calls, too.

First up, we have a super vanilla call. I can’t even remember the guy’s name. Basically we made small talk for several minutes, then he asked me how big my bed is. He wanted me to pretend he was in bed with me. He asked if I would like it if he kissed my forehead, my left cheek, my right cheek, the tip of my nose, my chin… then he wanted me to take off my shirt and shorts, and he kissed my toes and worked his way up. He jumped from inner thighs to belly button, then asked me if I wanted him to hold my hand or my breast. Which breast? (This guy was very into left and right haha) Anyway we kissed and stuff and made tender love and that was about it. Thank you, goodbye.

Then… I had a 10 minute call. We talked for maybe two minutes. He wanted me to make noise for him. So for the remainder of the call, I’m making stupid noises into the phone and wondering if I should ask if he’s still there, etc. Occasionally I can hear a small noise. Anyway, the call ends like this: *Stupid noises from me* — *Toilet flushing* — CLICK. That made me crack up laughing.

Then… I got a call from a guy named Thomas. He was ridiculous. He wanted me to deep throat my dildo. (I don’t have a dildo, I have a vibrator. If I want penetration, I find a man.) So anyway, I grab a dry erase marker off my computer desk, because he wants to hear it. I make a few sucking sounds, do a couple pretend gags, and talk with my mouth partially closed for that ‘mouthful of cock’ effect. He digs it, who knows why. Then he tells me to rape myself. How do you propose I do that? He wants me to shove my whole hand and arm into my vag. Riiiiiiiiiiiight. So, I do. And he says ‘Harder.’ Honestly, a large part of our phone call went down like this:

Me: Unh! *Also known as ‘stupid noise’*
Thomas: Harder.
Repeat. 20,000 times.

And he’d have me stop when he thought I was gonna come and I’d go back to dildo deep throating. And somewhere in all of this, he tells me to tell him I love him. I love you! “No, tell me you love me!” I love you Thomas! Repeat about 12 times. “Now say you’re a prostitute” I’m a prostitute! “Say it.” I’m a prostitute! “Again” I’m a prostitute! “Again” You get the idea. Then– “Say it five times.” So I do. “Five times again” and I do it again. Thomas is refreshingly silent. Then he asks if I enjoyed that, and promises to call me back.

I had two short and straight to the point calls. The first called and first thing he said was ‘Make some noises for me.’ So I obliged. After that was a guy who said “Tell me how you’d suck my cock” first thing. I give a few details, then it’s over.

Sunday, bloody Sunday. Arg.    

I really feel sorry for the ones who call me and just want to act out a typical scenario between a girlfriend and boyfriend. They must be so lonely! I’m always nice to them. It seems like the biggest losers are the ones who call me and want me to say both I love you, and something along the lies of me being a dirty slut or a prostitute. They’re all mumblers and mouth breathers.  

Anyway, we’ll see what happens when I log in later today! Until then enjoy.

1-900-Lovergirl

“I like to chat as a boy, I like to chat as a girl”

So, I just spent an hour logged in and only had 13 minutes of talk time. That was pretty crappy in my opinion, so I logged off.

I just wanted to mention that I had a really strange call. Well, actually it was like a voice mail. I can respond to the voice mails, or not. It was enormously difficult to understand what he was saying, because he had some flavor of Asian or Middle Easern accent, and was mumbling. I had to listen to his messages multiple times to decipher them, and this is what I got:

Hi, my name is Sanjay, but you can call me Jennifer. I like to chat as a boy, I like to chat as a girl. 

Strrrrange. And I a) didn’t want to deal with his messages b) didn’t want to talk to him personally and c) didn’t like how slow it was, so I logged off. How would I even deal with that? I have noooo idea. I’m going to consult the oracle that is my favorite forum and see what they have to say. Just thought I’d tell someone about this strange call!

P.S. All names are changed, always.

College Cumslut, True Love, and Sex with Skeletons– My 3rd Night

Yesterday I was only logged on for 50 minutes, and at least 40 of those were spent talking. I had a couple of super fast callers, but I had two longer calls.

The first one was from a guy whose name I didn’t catch– he repeated it for me several times, but his accent made it sound like ‘Gerty” so I really don’t know. Anyway, this guy was pretty mellow. I introduced myself, described myself to him as usual. There was the usual “you sound hot” type thing from him, and then he asked me if I would like to role play. I said I would and asked him what he had in mind.

He wanted to do a college professor/ college student role play, which on the inside made me go ‘yay!’ since t’s actually one I’ve enjoyed in real life. So he asked me what I would wear, and we got started. He’s quite patient, which was great. We exchanged our imaginary dialogue and I performed my duties like any good college student that hasn’t turned in her homework will. He was getting along fine, but just couldn’t get there. He then explained to me that he was drunk, and asked if we could try again. He told me to be very descriptive, so we went into it again, and after lots of descriptions and sexual acts, he finished. I can’t remember if he just plain hung up or was polite and at least said goodbye. He seemed polite the whole time though, so he may have said goodbye.

My next caller was a bit… interesting. Let’s call him Claude. He calls me and asks me for my desription. As I’ve said before, I’m cosidered a cute 18 because my character is 18 and my voice sounds very young. As I’m describing myself he says things like ‘Oh, you’re just a cute 18, yes?’ and “Oh, you’re so cute and petite, yeah?” and things like that, after almost every sentence. So we’re getting to the juicier stuff, and he’s still making all the same comments. Then he says “What are you to me?” Going off of something he had said earlier, I responded with “Your good girl?”

“What else?” he said. I knew where this was going, but just to be sure I asked him “What else do you want me to be?” so he said “You’re my dirty little slut.” I say okay. “No, say it” he says. “I’m your dirty little slut!” I say, which still doesn’t satisfy him. “Tell me what you are!” he prompts. “I’m your dirty little slut, Claude!” and so we resumed. I’m just a cute 18, a very petite girl taking his big 8″ cock. You know. He asks me if I like it, I moan that I love it. “I love you, Morgan!” he says. I just sort of moan and try to carry on, so he repeats. “I love you, Morgan!” Oh. So I have to say it. “And I love you, Claude!” I pronounce. “I love you, Morgan!” he says again.”I love you too, Claude!” Ugh.

Oh yeah. While we’re getting into this, he asks me if I have any piercings. Like I tell most people before I give them an imaginary beej, I have a tongue ring. He asks me if I have any other piercings, so I say I don’t. He asks me if I have a belly piercing. “Oh yeah, I do… I forgot about it.” Psssh. He really digs that belly button piercing. So we’re doing our thing, and he asks me if I like skinny women. I say sure I do. Then he asks me if there are any celebrities I like. I watch Chelsea Lately and see the occasional headline on msn.com, but I’m really not up on celeb gossip. So, I’m at a loss. I already know he likes skinny girls, and young ones, preferrably blonde. So my brain is frantically flipping through celebrities, and I can’t think of anything.

Finally, I toss out “Angelina Jolie” because although I think she’s too skinny and has had too much work done on her face, everyone else thinks she’s the shit. “Ah, no.. is there anyone else?” Fuck! Umm… “Renee Zellweger” I say. At least I thought of a blonde! “Is she skinny?” he asks me. Remembering her scary skelton phase, I say “Yes” and then he asks me how old she is. “Um… in her 30’s?” I offer. “No… is there anyone else?” he asks me. Well fuck. I’m really crashing and burning here. “Why don’t you tell me who YOU like?” I ask, but he’s no help. He wants me to think of someone like me, young with blue eyes and blonde hair.

Ah ha! “Blake Lively!” I say. He says he doesn’t know who she is. I tell him she’s on Gossip Girl here in America. Of course he hasn’t seen it. So I tell him she’s got blonde hair and blue eyes, just like me. He asks how old she is. I fib and tell him Ithink she’s just 19, altough I know from the horoscope section in my latest Cosmo that she was born in August of ’89. He asks if she’s tan, if she has any piercings (of course I say her belly button is pierced!) and asks what she wears. I tell him she wears short low cut dresses and heels.

So he says “Hello Blake” and we resume our conversation as if a completely different person had picked up the phone. We get into our game, and he asks how much I weigh. I have no idea how much she weighs, so I tell him 120, which is 10 pounds less than my character. That’s pretty skinny in my opinion, so  think it’ll satisfy him. We play our game for a little while, but the 120 pound Blake Lively just isn’t cutting it fo him. So he asks me to think of someone else… Someone skinny, and blonde, and young.

“Paris Hilton!” I volunteer. “How old is she?” I tell him she’s 21, which is a big fat fib because she’s actually on the cusp of 30. Paris Hilton annoys and repulses me. Anyway. He then greets me, saying “Hello Paris!” and I say hi back.  He asks what I’m wearing, and I tell him I’m wearing a very short dress with a low cut neckline and some high heels, which I haven’t gone wrong with yet. He tells me he’s seen my porn (I haven’t seen it) and says that I got  lot of spunk on me. Previously he’s wanted to come all over whatever girl he’s talking to, especially on her flat belly and her belly button ring.

Then he asks how much “I” weigh and practically drops a load right there when I say “100 pounds.” Finally, he’s made his decision. So he decides he wants to wrestle and pin me to the bed. We’ve already covered that “I” have a belly button piercing and am very skinny, blah blah. He climbs on top and wants me to feel his full weight, and then fucks me. Instead of coming all over me, I tell him to come in me, which makes him tell me that I’m a naughty slut. Oh, and throughout the entire phone conversation, no matter who I’m pretending to be, I’m prompted to say “I’m your dirty little slut, Claude” at regualar intervals.

So he finally comes in the nasty cum dumpster that is Paris Hilton, and then thanks me. He tells me I was very good (HOORAY! That was only my 3rd time to log in!) and that he would be calling me back again. “Who are you?” he asks. By now I’m old hat at this game. “I’m your dirty little slut Claude.” I say. “Alright then, goodbye” and he hangs up.

I logged out after that call because I had a distressed friend on her way over. Once I got her calmed down and we were chatting, I told her the story of my call with Claude, and she laughed her ass off. See, therapy for all! Claude gets his rocks off with skeletal girls that claim to love him and be his dirty little slut, I find all of this very interesting on the other side of my mind (you know, the side that my character, Morgan, doesn’t control) and a friend having a bad day has a good laugh. I look forward to my callers today!

Popsicles, Phone Fun, and Foot Jobs– My Second Day

So, at this very moment I’m logged in and taking calls. I think it’s like 10 am in Britain, so they’re not incredibly busy. Or at least, I’m not. I didn’t log in yesterday like I meant to because every time I thought of it little bolts of anxiety lanced through my chest. But I sucked it up and logged in about 30 minutes ago and despite a little shaking I’m doing fine. I haven’t even been really frozen like I was the last time, but I’m sure I’ll freeze again. Still an amateur!

This really isn’t as bad as I’ve built it up to be. These guys call me, and most are very polite. Some make a little small talk, others don’t. Luckily my last couple of calls the guys have sort of lead me, which is great and very helpful. And they hang up when they finish, or they run out of time, and I laugh or roll my eyes and say ‘boy are silly’. I’m already developing a weird fondness for them. How strange is that?

I just hope that I don’t have to engage in real conversation. I’m not very good at seperating my self from my character yet, so I’m not sure how I would maintain a conversation where I share made-up details of this girl’s life. I’m sure it would come off as very fake. Either way, this isn’t as bad as it became in my mind! The past couple of days I’ve just been dreading it and it’s become some enormous scary thing. Now I’m logged in and it’s really not so bad as I remembered it to be… actually, it’s a relief because it’s so easy compared to what it became in my head.

So far, my calls have been pretty easy. I got a call that was supposed to be with two other girls, but fortunately after the second girl connected they ran out of time. I’m glad, because I had NO idea what I was going to do! When I said hello the first girl just moaned at me.

I just got off the phone with a guy who was into feet. He wanted to suck my toes and explained to me what a foot job was. (I knew what it was, I’ve never done it, but I was buying some time!) The talk didn’t get too kinky beause he ran out of time. But he was nice, and made some small talk, and asked me how long I’d been doing this. Not long!

Another guy was polite and loved giving oral, and involved his girlfriend in the story. Before that guy was a younger sounding guy that said he had a big cock (‘just really big’ in response to ‘how big?’. I guess I was just supposed to imagine a submarine missle.) that wanted to meet me in real life and wanted me to send him dirty pictures. Just from his voice I imagined him to be very skinny and pimply. Eek. Aside from that kid, everyone else seemed really polite and nice.

I haven’t hardly gotten any guys to the finish line (or maybe I have and just don’t know) because they all run out of time. Of the guys that have finished, none have stuck around for small talk, which is a relief. Once a guy finished (I could tell by the sounds haha) and it got quiet before he hung up… I didn’t know if I should ask if he was there or if he had finished. Fortunately, there was a fumbling sound, and then he hung up.

This is a very interesting business. I am the imaginary goddess of multiple guys. They make me into whatever they want to in their minds, and do whatever they want. I sit here in my pajamas pretending I find all this very sexy while meeting the men that they are behind closed doors. Life is strange.

 

Aww, one just said thank you! Oh, and I just got my first female caller! She introduced herself, and then asked if I like women. I said honestly that “I’ve never had any experience with women, but I’ve always been curious” and she hung up! Idon’t even know if she heard the last part. I guess now that I think about it I should be glad. A woman would not be as tolerant of my inexperience, or my fakey moans and groans! Women can spot a fake a mile away.

Anyway, I’ll update where I see fit, but my throat is getting pretty scratchy so I’m going to log off in about 15 more minutes.

Making love to a popsicle–

1-900-Lovergirl

Phones, Penises, and Procrastination!

Alright, so a night or so ago was my first night. I logged about an hour total of talk time, I think. I already discussed how awful I was! (Read the last post.) I was laughing mostly at myself at the time.

Well now, I’m experiencing what apparently all new PSO’s experience– dread. I just plain do not want to log in, and I’m digging in my heels. They say it goes away after a week or two, so I’m going to keep pushing. My company requires a minimum of 10 hours a week, which is what I’m going to hit. I’m not going to lose my contract over beginner’s jitters!

I just feel so silly, flirting with these men and lying to them while they manhandle their manmeat. Yeah, I know it’s the job! But I’m not really great at seperating myself and my character. I definitely have a character– she sounds really sweet and innocent, but (OBVIOUSLY) has a bit of a naughty side. Nothing too extreme, it’s my first time haha.

It’s just that while this girl’s voice is coming out of my mouth all frilly and pink, there’s a sarcastic and very realistic ME in the back of my brain, speperated only by a very fragile curtain. And when the young and exceptionally inexperienced girl in control of my mouth does her thing the real ME sits behind that curtain, brain buzzing at twice the normal rate, even when the dimwit running my mouth freezes.

I’m one of the best procrastinators in the world, but I refuse to show off my skills for this! I do better when I have a set goal so I can say in my head “Just do this much more, and you can quit for the rest of the day!” so I’ve figured out that if I log in for an hour and a half each day, I’ll have 10 hours and 30 minutes at the end of the week. And I don’t even have to work an hour and a half all at once! Even though the first time flew by, I might log in for 45 minutes, log out to take a break, and then log another 45. It’s just a matter of staying motivated and knowing that the carrot in front of my nose in within reach.

I really believe that after I get the swing of it, I might actually like this. Or at least be good at it, because I know I can be. I’m creative, I’m already doing well with not talking too fast (I AM Southern, after all), and I’ve had sex before haha. And I can talk a little about something I’m not really into, although I do need to do some more reading on licking somone’s asshole. There’s something I’ve never done, and then when some guy switched from fucking me in the ass to telling me to lick his asshole I was a little perplexed.

Do not go thinking this job is easy! I mean, I saw other people saying that but being the cocky little shit I am I didn’t really think I had TOO much to fear. Serious lapse of judgement on my part. But I think that if you put effort into it and don’t take it too seriously, you CAN be good at it, and that’s what I’m aiming for. Please, wish me luck. And when you’re in need of jerky converstion filled with awkward pauses, please just call

1-900-Lovergirl!

Fake Orgasms, Anal Sex, and Awkward Silences– My First Night

HOLY FREAKING CRAP!

I just was logged in for over an hour, and it went so fast! I had several calls, all of which were quite short. They say that three beeps means they ran out of time, and one long one means they pretty much hated you. I’m starting to think three beeps actually means they hated you! According to the beeps, every one of them ran out of time pretty quickly.

My gosh! This was my first time logging in and such. They approved my recordings, but my profile hasn’t been approved yet so I wasn’t sure I’d get calls. I did though! And let me tell you, I’m jumping on a mixture of excitement and embarrassment. I thought I’d be nervous, but I wasn’t! However, there were several times where I just froze and sat here making awkward grimacing faces because I thought I sounded stupid or couldn’t think of anything to say.

Kill me now! I expected it to be like this, I was prepared. I tried to think of all the different things I could say or ask so I’d be prepared. Yowza! Stop and go. Like the way new drivers drive in movies. VROOM! SCREECH! VROOM!  SCREECH! I know you just have to stick with it and keep trying, and that the only way to get better is to practice, so I’m going to sign back in after a little break. It’s hot in my bedroom, I’m thirsty, and my dog needs to go out.

One of my other difficulties is hearing. First of all, even in person, I have trouble understanding people. My hearing is perfect, but sometimes, between my brain and my ear something gets lost, so I stand there and go “Huh?” like an idiot. You can’t do that on the phone! You have to be cute and say “I’m sorry?” or “Could you repeat that?”. Well, maybe you don’t have to, but I do. I sound like a 12 year old, honest to God, so I’m in a cute 18’s category. Anyway. First of all, they speak sort of softly because your voice naturally lowers when you’re turned on. Second, their voices are muffled somewhat because they’re breathing funny or beating it. Third, they’re British. So far the accents haven’t been awful at all, but it’s one more factor.

It’s hilarious in a way though. I tell them that I’m just wearing my underwear, which is currently a lacy pink bra and panty set, because it’s so early here. I told one guy I had woken up after a dirty dream and couldn’t sleep. In actuality… I’m wearing a black tee shirt that’s covered in pet hair, with my 38DD tits flopping loose underneath. (This is known, like when guys go without underwear, as “Free ballin’ “) I tell them I’m a 36D, because these things are just too big, ESPECIALLY for a supposed 18 year old with the voice of a 6th grader. Below that, I’m wearing Metallica ‘Ride the Lightning’ men’s pajama pants, which are blue with electric chairs, lightning, and the Metallica logo all over. They’re baggy and oversized and come complete with a button fly. Fo realz. Underneath that I’m wearing some very unsexy bikini cut cobalt blue cotton undies because as I like to say “The red tide is coming.”

Off topic. I think the whole “Red Tide” thing is a hilarious way of saying I’m bleeding out of my vag. The red tide is where all of this plankton breeds and goes crazy, and the population skyrockets, which kills all the fish and makes the water where the plankton is look red. You’re not supposed to eat shellfish (i.e. CLAMS) at this time. TELL ME that’s not funny. Sorry, I have a crude and twisted sense of humor.

Also, my hair (which is not honey blonde, but naturally reddish blonde, currently dyed black) is tangled and pulled back into a very messy bun. My toenails are painted red, not pink. Pink is sweet, girly, and sort of virginal. It’s innocent. Clearly, I’m not, since I’m doing this job. Red is my favorite color, and it’s a sinful one. Red is a color of vitality, strength, and power. It’s very passionate– it represents love, sex, and anger. Bad good girl 18 year olds that sound like they’re only allowed to watch PG movies are not ‘red’ girls.

Anyway. I realize this particular blog entry is completely random and insane, but it happens. I just want to say that I’m really glad that I work for a no taboo company! So far the worst I’ve gotten was someone wanting to put it in my ass. I’ve done anal, and if I’m horny enough I like it. But I just think it’s rude to want to stick it in my butt without paying any attention to my clit, my pussy, or my orgasm first! 😀

So there you go. A not very detailed account of my first hour, and way too much info on what the real Me is doing, thinking, and feeling. I wonder if it would freak them out to know that behind the sweet, naughty girl they talk to is a crass bad girl with a brain more inflated than their engorged cocks that laughs and rolls her eyes at the whole exchange? (When she’s not cringing and floundering for something to say.) Don’t get me wrong! I don’t think I’m better than them. I don’t look down on them. But I feel like a fool after saying certain things. And honestly, saying ‘wow’ after they tell me they’re about six inches is dumb. Maybe, for the most part, everything IS bigger in Texas.   

I’ll write more soon, you can count on that. I haven’t posted very frequently, but that’s because there was nothing to post! Now I’m in business, so you can exepct to hear a lot from me!

Love and Jitters from–
  1-900-Lovergirl!

Dawn! The sun rises on dark secrets

So, it’s been a while. But I’ve finally gotten everything done that I needed to, and today should be the first day I’m able to log on and start receiving calls. In anticipation, I’ve been doing some reading on an erotic literature site.

I’ve already explained the company is no taboo. As a reminder, this means no incest, bestiality, paedophilia, necrophilia, racism, drug use, or torture. Basically, if it’s illegal, it’s not allowed. And I’m comfortable with that. I’m not passing judgement, but… I really can’t get into any of that.

However, I CAN expect to discuss things like sex with multiple partners, sex with other females, sex with total strangers, urination, defecation, domination, degradation, humiliation and the like. I’m not really into some of that stuff either. (I cannot imagine enjoying someone peeing on me, or letting someone come into contact with my poo!) But that doesn’t matter! You’re supposed to approach this job as an ACTRESS. I do have some acting skills, but in a life experience kind of way, not from being on stage frequently.

So, I’ve been reading stories, trying to get in a few good ones on each kinky topic I expect to come up. So far I’ve done anal play stories, slave to a black master stories, stories where the female is submissive, stories where the female dominates, urination, panty fetish, and I’m on foot fetish right now.

Some of this stuff just makes me laugh! One man with a foot fetish discussed lavishing his tongue and attention on his dancer girlfriend’s hot, sweaty, tired feet. It just makes me wrinkle my nose and laugh. I read one woman’s account of the first time a man peed on her. She rubbed it into her skin and really enjoyed it. One man had a woman’s very dirty (read: crusty) underwear on his face, taking in the smell and taste of her sweat, urine, and daily excretions. (I have no right to say anything on that topic, I recently made $250 selling my dirty panties.)

I don’t think these people are disgusting, or freakish. I just don’t share the fetish. I think that it’s so interesting the way a person’s brain works, and their sexuality. There truly are so many different kinds of people, with different buttons. Some seem strange or shocking, some are considered morally reprehensive. In our society, anything but ‘vanilla’ is unacceptable. The truth is, it’s not really the norm. It’s just that no one talks about it. I can’t say whether or not the number of people with fetishes and ‘different’ turn-ons have increased because of the diversity and prevalence of porn in this day and age, or if there was a good percentage of people like that that you just didn’t know about because it was 1950 and hardly anyone expressed or explored their sexuality.

Either way, it’s very interesting. I’m a non-judgemental person. I may not agree with it, but I can’t pass judgement on you. No one has that right. I’m not saying I support the people who molest the innocence of a child or defile the remains of someone’s loved one. You have to understand– that’s someone’s baby. That was someone’s mother, or sister, or (adversely) father or brother. That was someone’s friend. And while I do not agree with rape, I see nothing wrong with rape role plays.

I’m going to open up here. What can it hurt? You don’t know me. I’ve done some role playing. Most was pretty harmless stuff. Pretending my boyfriend was actually a perfect stranger. Walking around in the nude, having sex on the front porch or in front of the window in hopes that my neighbor would see. But we also did a (gentle) rape role play. (It was nothing brutal, but a little agression and throwing me around turns me on.)

We discussed fantasies I’d had as a young virgin coming into my sexuality. After that, we acted out scenes where the 7th grade version of myself pleasured and was pleasured by my science teacher to make up for my recent failing grades. I’d even told him about how I was so repressed and would get so desperately horny that I’d wish my rottweiler would mount me, despite me being one of the biggest animal lovers in the world.

Role playing is healthy. It’s a good way to explore yourself, and act out situations you would never go through with. I would never want to be raped. I can’t imagine how damaging it would be to have sex with my science teacher as a 7th grader. I would never, ever engage in a sexual act with a dog or any other animal.

I got a little off topic. So although I’m not interested in certain scenarios or actions, I’m looking forward to exploring areas of sexuality I probably never would have, had I not started in this business. Of course I’m nervous! But I’m an optimist. I plan to approach this with  positive attitude, and have a complete understanding of what I’m doing from the first caller. I’m ACTING. But while I do so, I get to explore human sexuality, which is interesting to me.

I’ve always enjoyed exploring things I myself don’t, can’t, or won’t experience. I love reading all sorts of books because they introduce me to entire lives and experiences that I will never personally know. I enjoy movies, tv shows, plays, and the like for the same reason. I like to watch people in the mall. I like to learn things about how, why, and what makes us tick. We’re just fascinating, aren’t we? 

As I’m writing this, the sun is rising. Outside my window, the sky is a fragile silvery blue, and my own little world is gilded with the warm glow of the sun that rises in the east each morning. Here’s to new beginnings!

Horny Hugs and Sloppy Kisses from–
 1-900-Lovergirl!

Good News!

I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico.

Actually, I got the job!

I had my interview a couple hours ago, it lasted like 5 minutes. I checked my email a few minutes ago and they told me they wanted to hire me, and enclosed all the important documents containing details that I can’t share with you unless I want my butt legally kicked!

In a little bit I’m heading to the local library to print and fax my contracts. Pretty cool, huh?

God, I remember getting like super twitchy before my interview. Any other time I’ve had a phone interview, THEY called ME and it was somewhat out of the blue so I didn’t have time to think about it and get nervous. This time I looked at the clock and saw it was 9:52 and my heart jumped. I grabbed the phone, reviewed the briefing and website for the zillionth time, and then googled an exact time for my timezone. I thought my computer might be off, and I wanted to be prompt. So, I watched as the seconds ticked, and I was literally shaking. How silly I am! I chilled out though. I was really worried about not being able to understand the British accent, but fortunately she didn’t have a heavy accent.

I have a job! Now, time to go print, sign, and fax, baby!

After that, I get to do a ton of research into what to expect from this job to supplement the training and information that will be supplied to me. Also, I’ve heard from other PSO’s that for somewhat off the wall calls, you may want to have a good site with sound effects easily accessible.

I already have a sound board of farts saved into my PSO folder. Actually, I favorited it before I even looked into this line of work because I was playing them over the phone to my cousin. I don’t care how old I get, farts will always be funny to me. Anyway. So I just moved it into my PSO folder.

I’m hoping to find a good soundboard for burping that doesn’t sound too manly. Should I get soundboards of moans and screams? I really think I can do those myself, you know. I’ll probably try and find a good slapping sound effect. Other PSO’s either slap themselves or something near them to produce a spanking or whipping sound effect. I don’t feel like abusing myself though. 🙂

AND I need to find a good list of dirty words. You can only say cock so many times! Fortunately, on my AMAZING forum, links have been posted about this by others. I also need lots of erotic literature to inspire me and help me out until I’m comfortable! Links again provided by my spectacular forum.

Wish me luck, I’ve got lots of work ahead! But I can’t wait. You know I’m going to get myself all hyped up on my first call. It’ll be the exact same heart-racing, shallow-breathing twitchiness I experienced today. Thrilling! Anyway, I’ve really got to go. If you need some lovin’ just contact

1-900-lovergirl!  xoxo